Phoning a call centre is stressful enough … let alone when you have to juggle being put on hold (AGAIN) while your kids demand your attention.
Here are 11 things mums on the phone to a call centre know.
Warning: expect high stress levels …
It takes at least five attempts to even dial the number
Your kids keep interrupting you so you dial the wrong number at first and then, when you do get through, you can’t hear the options of which number to press.
And when you finally get to the stage of saying your account number, your child shouts ‘Muuuuuuuuuuuummy’ at the top of her voice.
Meaning you then hear a recorded message saying ‘I’m sorry, that number isn’t recognized. Please call back.’
The classical music will send you to sleep
Chances are you’ve had another interrupted night’s sleep thanks to your baby … who is currently snoring away happily in her cot.
Which means, when you’re put on hold and the classical music starts playing, you’re seriously close to nodding off.
One minute’s shut eye won’t hurt, will it?
The operator can’t hear you
From your baby crying, to your toddler demanding a drink, to your teenager shouting that she’s SO BORED.
Honestly, you can barely hear yourself think, let alone work out what the call centre operator is asking you.
The operator thinks you’re asking if *he’s* done a poo
Oh god, the shame.
You were on hold and asked your child if she’d done a poo. But just as you were saying it, the operator came back on the line.
And he now thinks you’re seriously weird. And is wondering how he can cut you off ….
The call operator has NO IDEA what you’re talking about
Seriously – no clue. It’s not his fault and you can tell he’s trying to be helpful.
But you’re pretty sure he’s pulling the same confused face your child does when you tell her that yes, she DOES have to brush her teeth again.
You clean your kitchen
‘Ooh I’ll just sit down and do nothing’ … said no mum ever.
Instead while you’ve been on hold you’ve cleaned the kitchen, defrosted the freezer and batch cooked a week’s worth of meals.
The only thing left to do is actually speak to the right person.
You get transferred to another department
And just as you finally get through, your child announces she actually has done a poo and needs you to wipe her bum.
With no intention of putting the phone down – and having to start all over again – you demonstrate some serious multi-tasking skills, while trying not to drop the phone down the loo …
You’ve been on the phone for over an hour and you’re still no closer to solving the problem you phoned about.
You swear this is more painful than childbirth.
Your kids hear you swear
Oh hell you think you just dropped an F-bomb. Or five.
Your toddler is now parroting what you said, while your teenager is looking at you with something close to, er, respect. Oh hell ….
You nearly give up
You’re still on the phone, you’ve spoken to about a hundred different people and have just been transferred to someone else.
You’re *this* close to hanging up when you remember you’re a mum: you’ve survived the newborn stage / teething / toddler groups / the school gates …
YOU CAN DO THIS.
You get the right person
It’s an actual miracle. Hurrah!
And you’re so bloody chuffed you even crack open the nice-biscuits-usually-saved-for-visitors, with your kids to celebrate.
Next time, your OH can blinking well make the call …