We’ve all seen them. Those moms that look so put together, so calm, so happy. They are like mystical beings, like a unicorn in the wild. How do they do it? How do they manage to look so peaceful and happy all of the time? We all love being moms, but no one among us is immune to the “mom burn out,” where we feel so exhausted, beat down, tired, sleepy, oh yeah, and more tired. We’ve all had those days where we have nothing left to give. Does that happy mom ever feel this way too? Does she have tired days. Of course she does- but chances are, she is doing some things that you are not. We’ve busted open the brain of these unicorn moms to see just what they are doing and have found 8 secrets of happier moms that we can all do to help us be more calm, collected and, well, happier!
Leave the House Everyday
This may seem silly to even have to say, but it’s an important one. Some days, especially when your kids are super small, can seem to fly by without even allowing time for you to breathe. These are the days where you can feel like you are in a smelly casino, where you don’t even know what time it is. If you are having one of these day, make sure you find time to get outside. Take a walk around the block, head to the park or even just the yard. Even if the weather is cold or rainy, take just a few minutes to get out there and breathe some fresh air- it can do wonders for your soul.
Make some Time for YOU
Ever hear the term “happy wife, happy life?” You can apply the same logic for mommies. A happier mom means happier kids, a happier house, a happier significant other- the whole shebang. The corner stone of being a happier mom is getting a break- some YOU time. A trip to the grocery store alone, a Target run, a pedicure- anything. One is certainly not the loneliest number when it comes to mothering. As much as we love our kids, we all need some mom time too.
Know It's ok to Ask for Help
This is a big one for moms. Many moms see asking for help as a sign that we can’t do it all or we are failing at our jobs, when in fact, the exact opposite is true. Asking for help is a sign that we are being honest with ourselves and trying not to let our current situation stress us out too much. When you are feeling overwhelmed or just need a night out, use those willing friends, family or neighbors to help you out- we can guarantee any of your mom friends would be more than willing to trade kid baby sitting for an evening out!
Plan a Date Night
Ahh, date night- remember those? Barely? Us too. A night out every once in a while, just grown ups, is truly one of the separators of those happier moms and the rest of us. We know it’s not always easy, but you need to make this a priority to connect with your significant other and remember, even just for a moment, what it was like when it was just you two, before you were Mom and Dad. Like we said above, use that family, those neighbors or friends. Make some trades, deliver some coffees- whatever it takes to secure a few hours of babysitting once a month so you can get dressed up in real clothes and head out to a place where you don’t have to cut up anyone’s food.
Connect with Your Friends
Along the same lines as date nights, are dates with your friends- with or without your kids. Plan a coffee shop meeting, a pedicure, a hike- anything. Creating time to curate these relationships will help keep you sane in our busiest times.
Break a Sweat
Everyone knows that breaking a sweat is so important for your physical health, but it is also imperative for your mental health. Going to the gym, on a run, a workout DVD, a hike or even a swim- getting your body moving and grooving everyday will help to increase your bodies release of endorphins, which will improve your mood and spirit, as well as help you stay fit and strong.
Eat, Sleep and Be Happy
It’s no secret that a balanced diet is the key to a happy and healthy life- so step away from your kid’s leftovers and take the time to make yourself a healthy meal. Craft a meal made of real healthy foods that will feed your body and give you the energy you need to keep go-go-going when your kids need you. Also, be sure to get enough sleep if you can, because nothing can steal a mom’s happies away like being exhausted day in and day out.
Let It Go
No, not the Frozen soundtrack, but your worries, high expectations and doubts. Life is hard. Motherhood is hard. There is no way around it. Before we are mothers we all have extremely high expectations of how we should behave, how our children will behave, how our lives will look. Then that baby is born and many of those dreams fly out the window as we feel like we are treading water, barely keeping our heads up. That’s ok. Don’t come down on yourself for a day you didn’t feel like you did your best mothering. Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep last night and yelled when you didn’t mean it. Maybe you tried to do a fun craft project and it blew up in your face (either literally or metaphorically). Maybe your kids are still in pjs and its 4 in the afternoon. It’s ok. Just let it go. Tomorrow is another day. Forgive yourself and move on.
Now, we know that even if you followed these tips every single day, they won’t prevent you from having a terrible day every now and again. Life happens, but being a happier mom doesn’t have to be a pipe dream. It can be a reality if you take some time for you, to breathe and to remember that tomorrow is another day.