Your child loves it when you read her a book at bedtime. But after a VERY long day, you’re not always quite so excited about story time …
Here’s a lighthearted look at 10 things that go through your mind when reading your kid’s bedtime story.
You wonder how many pages you can skip
Your child has deliberately picked the thickest book she can find. Meaning you now face the fine balancing act of trying to skip pages without your child noticing.
And if she does, it’s back to the beginning. Noooooo
You realize you know the story off by heart
You’ve read the story so many times you can recite it off by heart.
Which you’re secretly quite impressed about … especially given your memory has turned to mush after having kids.
Also, a useful skill, as you can now ‘rest’ your eyes as you’re reciting the story, and your child won’t even notice! (Just don’t fall asleep!)
You REALLY don’t like the main character
In fact if you’re being honest, you think the main character is a smug cow. There, you said it.
Not that you’d ever tell your child who seems to think she’s brilliant. Right, time to get her reading books with a different heroine!
You wish someone would read you a bedtime story
One page in and, unlike your child, you’re yawning and ready for bed.
If only your partner would read you a bedtime story. Too weird?
You remember the book is from the library …
and it’s massively overdue. Eek.
Right, you must remember to return it to the library in the morning. Along with the five others you got out last month and forgot to return. Sigh, too many things to remember.
You think about what to have for dinner
You’re absolutely starving and your mind wanders to dinnertime. What to have: sausages or spag bol?
Cue your tummy grumbling … and your child laughing hysterically. So much for calming her down ready for bed.
You really don’t want to read the same book every night
You don’t mind reading your child the same book a few times. (You’re all for repeats given you’re watching the whole series of Friends. Again.)
But reading your child the same book every night is driving you mad. And nothing you can say will persuade her to pick another one.
You decide you’re going to write a children’s book
Some of the books you read to your child are RUBBISH. Honestly, how do some people make money from this?
Only one thing for it – you’re going to write your own children’s book. Now, all you’ve got to do is think of a plot. Easy peasy.
You wish your child wouldn’t interrupt
You love that your child enjoys her bedtime book. But you really wish she wouldn’t interrupt with questions. Especially when you’re so tired you can’t even begin to remember why the sky is blue.
And every question makes story time even longer.
You are a master of speed reading
The only way to get through the book is by reading on fast forward.
Which is one of the parenting skills you’re most proud of and means you can read a whole chapter aloud in three minutes flat.
And is that snoring you hear? Shhh, she’s finally fallen asleep …